Gone
by Sakura245
Summary: Kanan died inside the imperial prison before the Ghost crew could get to him. The pain of losing him hit everyone hard. Surely, the Ghost hardly seems like home anymore. What happens to Ezra? He's not a padawan without a Jedi master.
1. Gone as Though it Never Existed

**Hi! I just want to let you all know that I should not be writing another fanfiction, I have a few that I'm still in progress in, and adding another is against my better judgement. However, in areas aside from school and work, I'm irresponsible. So, yeah...**

 **Anyway, one day I was sitting around, texting one of my friends then I thought,** ** _What if Kanan never came back that one time he was captured? What would happen to Ezra's Jedi training?_** **I brought up this idea to two of my fandom sisters. One of them told me not to do it, the other told me to do it. So, here I am, writing it. =P Hope you like it!**

Something had happened, Ezra knew it. He may not have understood the Force in total, but he could feel when something was off.

Things had been off for nearly a week. Kanan was still captured, the rebels had made no headway, and the tension within the _Ghost_ was almost palpable. The ordeal was hard on everyone, but it hit Ezra the hardest. It wasn't just the fact the Kanan was gone, he could sense any other feelings from the rest of the crew, excluding Chopper.

He'd almost gotten used to it, but in that night, something totally different attacked his senses. It was like he'd gotten stabbed or had his heart yanked out of his chest. The pain was like nothing he'd ever felt before, so bad that it left him incapacitated for a few minutes. He laid there, panicking, breathing hard, maybe even dying.

What came next was worst. Waves of pain flowed over his mind, making him want to curl into the fetal position and cry, and that's saying something because the last time he'd cried was when he was about seven or eight years old. Then it all stopped, the ache, the negative emotions. Everything. Gone as though it had never existed.

Then the truth seemed to come down on him like a pile of bricks. All the pain was coming from his bond with Kanan, and now the pain had disappeared. That was how he knew what had happened. That's how he put together that Kanan was dead.

Ezra actually did cry at that point, the one of the first people who had paid him any mind, any kindness since his parents' deaths was gone. That sentiment aside, without Kanan he was nothing, he was not a padawan. He reverted back to a child with Force sensitivity.

No! There was no way Kanan could be dead. He was Kanan, after all. He wouldn't die that easily. Right? Ezra knew that was just his emotions talking, but he clung to them like they'd keep Kanan alive, despite the fact that he was already dead. I took all of Ezra's will to stifle his sobs, and even then he failed at it as his breaths came in with shuddering and left with difficulty as though his throat was being clenched.

He must not have been as silent as he thought, because he heard Zeb stir from the bunk beneath him. "Hey, Kid," the Lasat said quietly. "You crying?" Ezra didn't answer, knowing that if he spoke, his words would be incoherent, garbled from tears. He also didn't want to give Zeb a chance to tease him about this.

"Listen," he said, sounding stern. "We're going to get him back. There's no reason to cry about it." Ezra knew that it was supposed to be comforting, but whatever warmth was there, he couldn't feel it. He was too far away.

He didn't want to verbalize what he had felt. It would make it all more real, more concrete. Ezra had the feeling that if he said what he had felt, it would all be set in stone.

 _It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. It was just a nightmare!_ He told himself over and over. He'd keep denying it because there was no way that it was true!

…

Sabine's body went stiff as though she had died and was experiencing Rigor Mortis. Her eyes scanned the single line over and over again, praying to whatever Force Ezra and Kanan used. She prayed that her eyes were deceiving her or she was wrong in some way or the report was lying.

"Prisoner Status: Deceased" seemed to take over her vision.

"Well, where is he?" Zeb prompted worriedly. The look on her face couldn't be a good indication.

Sabine said nothing as Hera read the file over her shoulder. "He's dead," she whispered almost inaudibly. Hera glanced at Ezra. The files could lie, they could have been falsified in order to throw them off the empire's trail. Ezra sensed whether or not Kanan was alive, but his silence and face said it all. Kanan was gone.

"I-I could feel it when it happened," Ezra murmured. Tears formed in his eyes.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Zeb questioned, borderline angrily, but one didn't need to be a Force sensitive to sense that he was too sad to be angry. Ezra flinched.

"I didn't want it to be real." Ezra bit his lip and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He retreated out of the cockpit.

Zeb sighed. It's not like he'd meant to blame Ezra. Hera glanced at him. "Yeah, I'll go to apologise," he muttered, assuming Hera's glance had demanded an apology.

Hera shook her head. "No. He needs some time to himself." She recalled the first time Ezra used the dark side. Kanan had said that Ezra needed time to think. This was no different, he'd come to talk about it when he was ready.

"What do we do now?" Sabine asked.

Hera bit her lip, she barely knew what to do at this point. "We'll keep moving," the leader said, trying to hide the sadness in her voice. That was only half true, they'd take time off. Grief riddled people couldn't function under such circumstances. "But for now," she said seriously. "Everyone should have some down time."

She walked out of the cockpit without another word. Once Hera had closed the door to her cabin, she sank to her knees. Kanan was gone. He was dead.

She waited until the trembling stopped coursing through her. She waited until the tears slackened. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. Hera didn't know, but it felt like forever.

She heaved a breath in to calm down, before punching in a series of numbers on the holoprojector to contact Fulcrum. " _Ghost_ to Fulcrum," she said, her voice not sounding like her own.

A hooded figure appeared in the hologram. "I was about to contact you," it said. "I hate to tell you that our spies have-"

Hera knew what Fulcrum was going to say before the end of the sentence. Reports of Kanan's death would have been recognized by now. "I already know," Hera interrupted distantly. "He died in interrogation."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Fulcrum said, the voice somehow still had emotion in it even through the vocal modifiers. "How is everyone taking it?"

She shook her head. "As you'd expect. We lost our leader."

"What do you plan to do?"

Hera shook her head again. She wasn't as steady as she normally was, and it was possible that she'd be that way for awhile. "I'm not sure. We'll all take some down time. Try and recover from the shock."

Hera knew what part of conversation was coming. What would happen to Ezra? Without Kanan, Ezra wasn't a padawan. He was still a member of the crew, but Fulcrum had focused in on Ezra the one to bring hope because he was special. Because he could be the next keeper of the peace. What would that mean for him? Hera didn't want to think about it.

"And Ezra?" Fulcrum pushed.

Hera sighed, the topic couldn't be avoided. "He's taking it hard. He sensed it when it happened." More pain crept into Hera's voice.

"I understand you don't like the idea," Fulcrum said sympathetically. "But he's still untrained."

Hera nodded. "I know. I agree with you, but I'm just afraid of how hard it will be on him… and us."

"I understand," Fulcrum said again. "But-"

"Yes, I know," Hera interrupted sadly. "It's the best thing for him and the rebellion."

 **So, it starts. Such good times, before Ezra teetered between the light and dark and before the** ** _Ghost_** **crew was seriously involved with a large scale rebellion... and Ezra was tiny, but I guess that's also season two... Point is I kind of miss this time! Please review! May the Force be with you!**


	2. Nerves

**Hi! So, I had some difficulty on this chapter. I guess I was a bit emotionally drained from writing some other stuff before this and rewatching episodes of** ** _Tokyo Ghoul_** **and** ** _Laughing Under the Clouds_** **. I will be the first to admit that I acted irresponsibly in that way... I should have kept my emotions in check... My true struggle in being a Jedi! Also, I feel I should clarify, Kanan is dead. His death has not been framed. He is one with the Force. Sorry to break the news to you...Anyway, I hope you like it!**

"Ezra?" Hera knocked cautiously on the door to the his cabin. The door opened to reveal Zeb, who looked just as distraught as everyone felt.

"He's not in here. I'd wager he's in Kanan's cabin," the Lasat said. Hera glanced in the direction of Kanan's room. That wouldn't make this talk any easier. "What do you need to talk to him about?" Zeb may not have been Force sensitive, but he could sense when things were off. He knew by the look on Hera's face that whatever talk she had to have with Ezra would not be an easy one.

"Umm… There's a few things he's got to work through." She didn't know what else to say, and honestly she didn't want to say anything more about it. Ezra's roommate knew that there was more that she wasn't saying, but he didn't want to make it hurt anymore for her.

She knocked on Kanan's door, unsettled when she remembered that Kanan's voice wouldn't answer. "Ezra," she called softly. "Are you in there?"

"Yeah, I'm here." The boy was curled up in the corner of Kanan's bunk. He knew that whatever Hera said was going to hurt them both. How much of it could they take?

The twi'lek slid into the space next to Ezra. "What's happening?" he asked, looking up with tear filled eyes. "There's something you're not saying." He took a breath in. "Something you really don't want to say."

"Ezra-" Hera began.

Ezra stiffened. "Would you please just say it?" he burst out.

Hera inhaled sharply. He would hate to hear what she had to say even more than she hated to say it. "Since Kanan's…. Not here… You're probably the last Jedi in the galaxy." Ezra tensed, scared of what would come next. He didn't want to mention that he wasn't really a Jedi. He wasn't without his master.

"You have to go into hiding." Hera exhaled. The worst part of this talk wasn't over.

"Why just me?" Ezra asked, his stress levels spiking up. Hera had said "you," not "we." That couldn't be good.

"Ezra, this is for the good of the galaxy." Hera took another breath in, this last line being the hardest to deliver. "You're going to go train with one of our allies."

"Huh?" Ezra could understand what she was saying, but he felt like none of it was really processing. That couldn't happen. He belonged on the _Ghost,_ with his adoptive family. Anywhere else was uncharted waters. He gulped. "You're sending me away?!" he remarked incredulously, his eyes had a wounded look of betrayal.

"It's not as though we want to, but it's the best way to protect you and the future of the Jedi."

Ezra shook his head, still unwilling to give into this insane idea. He wrapped his arms around Hera's midsection. "Please, don't make me leave. I- I want to stay here." That broke Hera's heart, but regardless of her feelings, Ezra's feelings, or anyone else's feelings, Ezra had to leave. She pulled him closer, rubbing circles into his back.

"Listen," she said softly. "It will be okay. This is for the best." In truth, there was nothing she could do to soften the blow. The fact stood out, plain and simple: Kanan was dead and Ezra had to leave them for a time. She could do nothing but put up a weak attempt to comfort the crying teen in her arms.

"You keep saying that," Ezra sobbed. "I get that, but I don't want to say goodbye to the only family I've known since the empire took my parents!" He held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go. He felt like if her loosened his grip, everything in that ship that he'd come to call home would dissolve like salt in water.

"Be brave," Hera said firmly. "I know that Kanan wouldn't have wanted it to come to this, but he would want you to keep training, to keep becoming the Jedi that he knew you are." Ezra swallowed the tears. His shoulders still shook with sorrow, but Hera was right. He had to be strong and get through this. He'd become a Jedi for his dead master.

"Okay," he said, calming down. He wiped the tears from his eyes and inhaled deeply. Hera forced a smile to her face, but her pain seemed to still radiate from it. Not even her grin could cover up the turmoil she felt on the inside. First, they had lost Kanan, and now, Ezra was following.

…

Nervousness wasn't an unknown feeling to Ahsoka. She'd felt nervous when she'd left the Jedi temple to go on her first mission. She'd been nervous when she'd met her Master. She'd been nearly scared to death when she left the temple for good.

For the most part, most of her fear had dissipated after she'd gotten involved in the rebellion. Make no mistake, the idea of failing and being found out still woke her up at night, but she was older and wiser. Certain things no longer made her nervous.

Being tasked with training a padawan made her remember the anxiety she used to feel. It wasn't as though she lacked faith in the boy or in herself. She just was unsure how to go about training him. She wasn't a Jedi anymore, and that complicated matters enough, but to top that off, his previous master had _just_ perished. How was she supposed to introduce herself in a way that didn't seem awful? _Hi! I'm here to replace Kanan!_ That conversation wouldn't be easy…

The togruta shook her head to herself as she pondered how this would go down. Ahsoka was drawn out of her thoughts as a small ship touched down. She pulled her hood further over her montrals. As the ramp extended, a boy lingered in the shadowed areas. A twi'lek came and walked him out, over to Ahsoka. They both wore head coverings that hid their faces.

Ahsoka took a breath in and approached. She smiled a little to be welcoming. "Hello, Ezra," she said. "My name is Ahsoka."

 **So, there it is. Now that Kanan is gone, Ahsoka has to teach the blueberry. Who thinks she'll be a tackle teaching like how Anakin did? All in all, he did a good job with her. He may have turned, but no one can deny that he was an awesome master. Please review! May the Force be with you!**


	3. Gone Training

**Happy Halloween! I hope every had a fun and safe time! I know I did! So, this chapter took quite a bit of consideration on how I would write it. I have to think about really sad situations, watch sad scenes of** ** _Rebels,_** **and I even went so far as to watch some difficult parts of** ** _Laughing Under the Clouds_** **(So, like everything after episode 5... Beautiful series, really...) Anyway, I hope you like it!**

Ahsoka had experience in working with younglings. She'd done it several times in the Jedi temple, but that didn't help in training Ezra at all. There was absolutely nothing in her life that could have prepared her for this. She kept the sad, soft smile on her face.

Ezra didn't return her smile, nor did he say anything. His eyes had a depressed, almost betrayed look to them. Ahsoka almost wavered. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Taking him from his adoptive family would only aggravate him. He was already distraught from losing his master, and he would grow to resent her. However, this was the only thing they could do to keep him safe. In the case that the empire got its hands on him, the rebellion would suffer.

The focus on the rebellion made up her mind. She would train him, and she silently promised that she would be just as great a master to Ezra as Anakin had been to her. She glanced at Hera, who had a pained expression on her face. That was no surprise. She was losing another member of her crew.

Ezra must have sensed that this really would be goodbye. He took a ragged breath in and wrapped his arms around Hera. She hugged him back. The former Jedi watched, feeling guilty for taking Ezra, for separating the _Ghost_ crew like this.

Ahsoka could sense that it was taking all of Hera's willpower to pull back and tell Ezra to be strong. Then, she walked away. Ezra bit down on his lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. Stormtroopers would question what they were doing if they stayed in one place for too long. Ahsoka hesitated before putting a hand on Ezra's shoulder.

He shook off her hand. Ahsoka had expected that, she wouldn't have reacted any better if Anakin had died during her training. The first few days of training would be difficult. Getting to know him in general would be difficult. He wasn't quite ready to adjust to a new master.

…

The ships were silent. Ahsoka's ship and the _Ghost._ :

Ezra wasn't talking at all; Ahsoka had expected that much. As much as she hated the silence, she hated even more to break it. She took her eyes off of the course ahead of her to glance at Ezra. He was so resigned. His small form was curled up in the seat that was farthest from her. She sighed internally. They'd jump to hyperspace soon, and Ahsoka figured that it would send a bad message about her if she remained where she was when she didn't have to steer the ship. As her small ship made the jump, she got up and took a seat near Ezra. _This'll be a fun talk._ She thought sarcastically.

Somehow the silence on the _Ghost_ seemed greater than it had been on the first night without Kanan in it. Two members were gone, one dead, the other not coming back for a long time. Hera didn't want to be the one to tell the two other remaining members why Ezra wasn't with her. "Where's Ezra?" Sabine asked when she could only hear Hera's footsteps enter the _Ghost._

Zeb was just as aware that something was wrong. "Where's the kid?" he asked before Hera had time to answer Sabine.

Hera inhaled deeply, as though her answer would be a speech rather than a few words. "He's gone training," she said, trying to pretend it was normal, more for her sake than for theirs.

"What do you mean he's gone training?" Zeb questioned.

Sabine's eyes glowed with realization. She tensed and turned to Hera. "He's not coming back, is he?" Hera didn't nod or shake her head or speak. The look on her face said everything.

"Why is he gone?"

"To protect him." Hera didn't like the way her voice sounded, so disconnected.

"Where is he?" Zeb asked. Hera shook her head, she couldn't tell them. Not just because the information was to be kept secret even from her family, but because after Ahsoka took off and took Ezra with her, the boy was instantly under her supervision. There was a high chance that they wouldn't know where Ezra was for a long time. That thought was unsettling.

"I don't know," she responded sadly. "For now, he'll be training with an ally."

"And that's it?" Sabine burst out. "We won't see him again? He's gone, just like that…" That was how this situation began to look.

…

"How are you feeling?" Ahsoka asked when she came close to Ezra. He glanced at her with sad, vividly blue eyes. He didn't say anything, but those eyes seemed to say, _My master's dead and I just got dumped off on a complete stranger. Other than that, I'm doing great, thank you for asking!_

The togruta took a deep breath in. She would have to connect with him one way or another. Otherwise any chance of training him was shot. "I know it's rough, Ezra. Losing a master isn't easy to move past." He looked at her again, his face asking questions. Ahsoka wasn't quite sure what to say after that. She'd never been so much like Master Kenobi that she knew the right thing to say at the right time. "Kanan was a great Jedi," she said, though she hadn't seen too much of him.

Ahsoka could remember Caleb Dume in the temple, but she'd never met Kanan Jarrus in person. She decided not to mention that part at the moment.

"I can't believe he's gone…" Ahsoka looked down at Ezra when she heard his voice finally. "He was a great master."

Ahsoka sighed as Ezra curled in on himself again. "I know," Ahsoka said softly. She would have tried to comfort him, but she couldn't push bonding with him too hard too fast. He needed some time to mourn. Force knew she did after order 66. So, she would wait for a little while.

He'd never forget Kanan, and Ahsoka would never replace him. She understood that, but she could also see that behind the pain in Ezra's eyes, he was still a fighter.

 **The Blueberry will always be a fighter! I'm an emotional person by nature, but this chapter was actually kind of hard to write. In the long run, this chapter will simply be a speed bump in the road of this fanfiction. I have a lot planned for the next few chapters! Please review! May the Force be with you!**


	4. Connection

**Hello, everyone! How's life? I just want to say that I have been majorly busy lately. Learning about the digestive system and the heart has been a bit taxing. Although, I am now able to identify the chambers, vessels, and valves of the heart. I'm planning on getting a fish for doing well on that until. I might want to name him, Chordae Tendineae Bridger... Just so everyone knows, I give my fish fun names to get it out of my system. Anyway, enough about my life. Onto the story! Enjoy!**

Ahsoka never doubted that the job of teaching was difficult. After looking back on her training with Anakin and the stories Obi-wan told of his time training Anakin, she figured it would be hard. Given the circumstances, it would be even more difficult.

That meant there had to be as few distractions as possible, which could possibly lead to more difficulties. Part of it was that she would have to leave the rebellion for the beginning of Ezra's training. The other part was that Ezra would have to go without seeing the _Ghost_ crew for awhile. More likely than not, it would be hard on him.

The boy was still in the corner, not bothering to look up at where the ship was going. That was for the best. Ahsoka was aware of how much Hera had told her crew of the rebellion. Next to nothing. And even when he was with Ahsoka, a leader in the rebellion, he'd be kept in the dark. The fact of it did not unsettle Ahsoka, it was for his own good. The more he knew the more of a target he'd be, if being a Jedi wasn't known already.

He finally looked around when the ship attached to a larger station. "Where are we?" he asked.

"Secret location," Ahsoka responded quickly, shutting off the ship's computer. Ezra's eyes were still as full of questions as ever, but he was still keeping his conversation with Ahsoka at a minimum. "Ezra, I'm going to need you to stay here. There's something I need to do." The look on his face gave no indication that he would obey. "I won't be long," she promised. "Just wait here for a bit."

She walked out the door, leaving Ezra in the ship. It was absolutely imperative that she keep him a secret. Even from the rebellion, for now at least. She trusted certain people, Commander Sato and Senator Organa, but having a growing rebellion had its share of drawbacks. Traitors and spies were her main concern.

…

Ezra rubbed his eyes. There were filled with a mixture of sleep and tears. He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since before Kanan was captured. He released a long breath.

In all honesty, he didn't know how he felt about Ahsoka. She was supposed to train him in Kanan's permanent absence, so that instantly made Ezra feel hostility towards her. On the other hand, she was a Jedi, or had been. He couldn't help but feel respect for her with that fact. On top of that, Hera trusted her, so that gave him reason to put faith in her.

He shrugged to himself. He could ponder this later, but really whether he trusted her or not didn't matter. For now, he was stuck with her. Unless, he took her ship and flew off….

He decided against that. He may have hated this situation, but it wasn't as though he'd be able to make it back to the _Ghost_ with ease, and he wasn't willing to go back to life on the streets on Lothal. He sighed. That left him to stay there.

Ezra stretched his arms above his head. Staying in one place for hours at a time didn't appeal to him. Time to explore. What was this "secret location"? It sounded interesting enough.

Some small voice within him seemed to tell him not to run off. For now Ahsoka was his master, and it was probably best to do what she said. Ezra bit his lip as he thought about it, then shook his head. _It's not like this will get me killed. Besides, when I met the everyone on the_ Ghost, _I was trying to steal the holocron and see how that turned out._

He suddenly swallowed hard as he remembered that on the the members of the _Ghost_ was dead, and the rest were far away from him. _In any case,_ he thought, trying to clear those thoughts from his head. _I'd prefer not to think about all of this right now._ Exploring wherever he was acted as distraction enough.

So, without a second thought, he opened the door and ran out.

…

"I'm taking an extended leave of absence," Ahsoka said, her fingers tightly laced on her lap. The few people within the rebellion who knew of her existence exchanged glances among themselves. Whispers spread around. The former Jedi stiffened. "It's for personal reasons." She said it as though she had much of a life outside of the rebellion. Well, she did now...

A restlessness that she hadn't known since she was just a teenager in the war suddenly set over her. This meeting seemed to be taking forever. She needed to get back to her ship and get Ezra away from here. The faster they could leave, the better. The chances of the boy getting discovered rose by the minute.

Generally, the rebellion was secure in terms of what kind of people were involved, but she couldn't shake the idea of some imperial spy giving away coordinates or sending inquisitors after them. Her encounter with the Sixth Brother had been bad enough.

Ahsoka darted out of the room the second the meeting was adjourned. Time to run. She kept her eyes focused dead ahead as she strode through the halls, not slowing down to give anyone a chance to chat with her.

"Okay, Ezra," she said as she entered her ship. "That's taken ca-" She stopped speaking mid sentence. The padawan wasn't there. It wasn't a large ship, around the size of Hera's _Phantom,_ so it had limited hiding places. Spots that she doubted Ezra would hide in. She'd lost him.

 _Force!_ She thought in panic as the knot in her stomach seemed to tighten and grow at the same time. _I haven't even had him for twelve hours and I already lost him?! How would I explain this to Hera if she calls? I've got to find him!_

Ahsoka shut the door to her ship and prepared to search. _How the Force do I lose a teenager?!_ She huffed, this was ridiculous. She didn't like the situation anymore than Ezra did, but it was something that they both had to get through. Hiding from it definitely didn't help matters. She closed her eyes for a second, focusing on finding Ezra's Force signature.

 _Come on. Come on…_ She thought as she sifted through the other signatures on the ship, sorting through them slowly.

There! A strong Force signature laced with pain, hurt, and a small percentage of excitement was only a few rooms down. That had to be him. Ahsoka locked onto the signature, masking her own as she did so. Ezra must not of learned the element of stealth yet or he didn't care if she sensed him. In any case, it was time to bring him back.

 _Really?_ Ahsoka thought to herself. _Going through the air ducts?_ She shrugged to herself. If that was Ezra's prefered way of travel, far be it for her to judge him. She leaned against the wall, waiting Ezra to get a bit closer.

"Ezra!"Ahsoka called as she banged on the banged on the wall, which was right next to the air duct that Ezra was crawling through. He must have jumped back in surprise because she could hear the sound of his body hitting the wall then a slight grunt of pain. She contorted her face in an empathetic grimace. "Ezra, come on. We've got to get going."

She heard a heavy sigh and sensed that he didn't want to go anywhere with her. He got the feeling that if he took another ride in Ahsoka's ship, it would take him even farther from the _Ghost._ That was accurate. He would be taken far from them in order to minimize distractions.

If he hadn't been struggling with loss, Ahsoka would have chided him. She'd have to be as gentle as she could, despite how difficult it was. Ahsoka slid into a sitting position. "Yeah, I know. It's rough." She could hear him shifting behind the wall. If she really wanted to, she could cut a hole in the wall and drag him out, but that would work against the connection she was trying to form.

She glanced around, no one stood in the hallway. Her sitting against a wall like that would look strange. Nothing in the Force felt off, except for Ezra's emotional state. "I was about your age when I became a padawan." She didn't know why she said it, but the words slipped out of her mouth. "That was before the empire."

Ezra could hear a strange sense of longing in her voice. "Everything changed after the war." A quiet sense of calm washed over Ezra. "Everything changed… except for the Force." Kanan had said something like that. "Regardless of how many Jedi or Sith there are, the Force will always be the same." She didn't have to say that there were only a few Jedi left, or that there was one less Jedi as of a few days ago.

"My master once told me that before I started training with him, his master said that teaching is a privilege. It's a Jedi's responsibility to pass on their knowledge to the next generation." Ezra sensed a deep sadness lodged within Ahsoka's Force signature as she spoke. He silently released an almost irritated breath. She was getting to him. As much as he hated the idea of being trained by someone other than Kanan, he owed it to his deceased master.

Ezra sighed audibly this time. Kanan had taken him in, he taught him how to use the Force. Now he was dead, and the only way that Ezra could think to honor his memory was to become the Jedi that Kanan had seen in him. "I'll meet you back at the ship," Ezra said quietly as he turned around and backtracked to his starting point.

 **Keep going, Ezra! I believe in the blueberry! I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions! My fanfictions would not be possible without all of you awesome readers! I love you guys! Please review. May the Force be with you!**


	5. First Conversations

**Hi, guys! So, I've meant to post this chapter for a long time. Life's been busy lately, but I pushed aside a paper about body decomposition for you people, so you're welcome. (I'm in an Anatomy class. I have to study these things...) Sorry about how short this chapter is. I was a bit distracted, I'll try to make the next few chapters longer. Anyway, hope you like it. Enjoy!**

Ezra's fingers twitched restlessly as the ship sailed through hyperspace. It was possible that staying in the vents would have been his best option. _Can't think like that now._ He thought to himself. What was done was done. He had to stay with Ahsoka at this point. He could sense her feelings on the situation. The stress of now being the master. The uncertainty of what to do.

He couldn't say he didn't feel for her, but his nervousness seemed to consume all other feelings.

"So," Ahsoka began as she took a seat across from Ezra. He could sense her need to make conversation. "The air ducts?"

Ezra shrugged. The subject was so unexpected that he almost smiled. She must have really been desperate to get the ball rolling. When he didn't reply verbally, Ahsoka assumed that he wouldn't at all. She drummed her fingers against her leg silently.

"It's how I normally move through big buildings… and ships… and the _Ghost_ on occasion." He didn't feel like talking, and the topic didn't open doors to very noteworthy conversations, but he remembered his silent vow to himself. He would be a Jedi, for Kanan. Aside from that, it wasn't as though his new master was awful. She _was_ making an effort to connect with him, so it was only fair that he met her halfway.

He glanced up at her face. Patience, compassion, heavy burdens. He could sense it. He bit his lip before asking a question that came into his head. "What did you do as a padawan?" Kanan would often have a shorter, clipped attitude when he spoke of the past. As Ezra could understand, there was a lot of pain in his past. Maybe asking Ahsoka a question about her past wasn't his best idea. He'd only just met her, after all.

Ahsoka smiled slightly, something Ezra didn't expect so much. "I was on the front lines a majority of the time." She had a bit of a wistful sense to her, almost as though she missed the war. "Before the empire, I fought with my master and we led clones into battle."

She had mentioned that she was about his age when she became a padawan. Ezra tilted his head slightly, trying to imagine her as a kid, fighting a war. He couldn't do it. "I also climbed through air ducts very occasionally," she added, her voice filled with mock pride, possibly to lighten the mood. That got Ezra to smile, if only a little bit.

There was no talk of her master, aside from quick mentions. The time wasn't right. Ahsoka had no expectations for Ezra to forget Kanan, she wouldn't have decided to train him if he'd brushed the memories of his old master away, but she didn't want to let him get distracted with imagining every gory detail of Kanan's death. She didn't want to let herself get distracted by thinking about every Jedi who'd perished in Order 66. Now wasn't the time.

...

"You have to tell Fulcrum to give him back," Sabine said angrily. Hera sighed, this conversation had been going on for the last half hour. The remaining members of the _Ghost_ were not taking Ezra's departure well.

"We've been over this, Sabine," the Twi'lek said for what seemed like the hundredth time. "It's for his own safety. The Inquisitor's still out there, probably looking for him. He's barely been trained as a Jedi for a year. What would happen if he came after Ezra?"

"Then we'd protect him," Zeb said before Sabine responded. The Mandalorian nodded, as she was about to say the same thing.

"As much as I hate to admit it, that's not an option. None of us are Jedi. We'd have to run, and eventually, they would find us." Hera leaned back against the pilot's seat. She didn't like losing Ezra either. Some small part of her felt like she was failing by leaving him under Ahsoka's care. She couldn't protect him or train him, so she left him with someone who could, despite how much it hurt. "This is the best way to protect him," she concluded softly.

Sabine and Zeb blinked. They could see it now. The bags under Hera's eyes, the exhaustion and grief that she'd tried to keep hidden for so long. Sabine swallowed, suddenly feeling guilty. Hera didn't like this anymore than they did. "He'll be safer than he was when he was with us," the pilot said, trying to put as much conviction into her words as she could.

…

"Whoa," Ezra breathed as he looked out the window. Before them loomed an iridescent blue-green planet. "Where are we?" He asked Ahsoka.

Ahsoka glanced over her shoulder at him, her lips forming a small smile. He'd finally made his way out of the back seat. "This is Christophsis. It used to be a pretty common battle ground during the clone wars." Ezra looked at her, he could sense that she had some ties to the place. "This is where it all started," she said softly.

Ezra would guess she meant her life as a Jedi started, but he wasn't quite sure. He didn't ask. "We're staying here?" he murmured.

"For now."

 **There it is! I was originally thinking about sending them to Carlac, but I thought that it would be a full circle kind of thing. =D To quote Disney: "It's the circle of life!" So, please review! Any suggestions are welcomed. May the Force be with you!**


	6. The Night

**¡Hola! I have been way too busy lately. College stuff, school stuff, writing stuff, life stuff. You know, normal everyday life. I've been slightly incoherent today, just not a good day, you know, so yeah... Guilt drove me to get back to writing fanfictions. Enjoy!**

The first night was not easy. Not for Ezra. Not for Ahsoka. Not for the members _Ghost_ crew.

Ezra stared up at the ceiling of his new room. It had taken he and Ahsoka three hours to find a building that was unoccupied, but functional. They'd figured which would be the best floor and gotten separate bedrooms. His new space was larger than his cabin on the _Ghost_ that he'd shared with Zeb. He would normally feel excited about that, but now the extra space felt empty.

Reality seemed to set in for him. He wasn't with the _Ghost_ crew, they were likely a million miles away. Kanan was dead. Ahsoka would be training him. He would somehow keep moving. Back on the ship and during it all, none of it felt concrete. Some part of him had still been convinced that it was all a dream. That none of it was for real.

Now he could feel that it was solid. As real as the walls around him. As alive as the togruta in the room next to his. _Oh Force…_ he thought distantly. _This is really happening._

That left him with no other thoughts in his head. He bit his lip and tried to ignore the stress it brought on. He couldn't do it. Just like when he used to have nightmares about actually getting caught when he was running or seeing his parents die. He couldn't seem to outrun his doubts, his anxiety.

Why had Ahsoka thought this would be a good idea? She wasn't ready to train someone. She hadn't really thought this through. Both she and Ezra were in no state to form a bond. Her mind went back to something Obi-wan had told her about how he trained Anakin out of a promise to his master. Both had been grieving Qui-gon's death, both probably felt entirely unprepared.

She almost laughed at that. Obi-wan feeling unprepared? That wasn't something she'd seen in her time as a padawan, but Obi-wan was only human, so it was bound to happen at some point. _At least he kind of knew Anakin._ She thought, almost bitterly. _I just took Ezra after his master died._

Ahsoka rolled onto her other side. _No time for self pity!_ She reminded herself fiercely. If she pitied herself, everything would turn into a never ending nightmare. _We'll start training tomorrow, and regardless of how that goes, we'll find a way to get through it._

They would learn how to keep moving. Just as Ezra had when his parents got taken away, just as Ahsoka had when her life in the Jedi order fell apart. She forced a wry smile even though no one was there to see it. It would work out.

The _Ghost_ was just as silent as one would expect. So quiet that the silence was louder than a war zone. Talking among themselves helped somewhat, but in the end it felt fruitless. Talking and tears wouldn't raise Kanan from the dead, nor would it make Fulcrum turn the ship around and return Ezra to them.

Both Jedi were gone, and the crew felt incomplete, even broken without them.

...

"Ezra," Ahsoka called from the other side of Ezra's door. He woke up with a long groan. Sunlight streamed through the windows and a small part of Ezra wanted to hiss as the rays met his eyes.

"I'm awake," Ezra responded. He tilted his head when he felt stiffness in his neck. "Unfortunately," he added under his breath.

"Training's in twenty minutes," Ahsoka reminded.

Ezra blinked. He hadn't entirely expected to start training so soon, but when he thought about it, it wasn't as though he'd have been ready to begin any later. Maybe it would be a distraction from the missing bond inside of him. Now was as good a time as any, he took a deep breath as though he was about to jump into ice water. Time to go.

 **Sorry about how short that was. It's kind of hard to pick up where you left off after so long. I've been getting into writing a novel, it's been hard because I have to develop my own characters and setting and stuff, but it's been going great. If I ever get published, chances are I'll mention that fanfiction was my start to creative writing!**

 **Another thing, we're starting training, so any** **suggestions** **are welcomed.** **Anyway thanks for your support and please review! May the Force be with you!**


	7. Master and Padawan

**Wow... It has been a long time, am I right? I am deeply sorry for leaving this fanfic for so long... If anyone remembers, I left a few A/Ns about how I was trying to write a novel. Still in that process...But now I have around 180 pages, so... there's been some progress. It took some work to get back into this story, but I tried... Hope you like it!**

It was completely fair to say that Ezra wasn't feeling one hundred percent the next day. Sleep had been more elusive that it ever had been for him. As he stepped into the sunlight, he nearly hissed. Ahsoka already stood there, sitting cross legged on the crystalline ground.

"Morning," she said, her face and voice welcoming. Ezra sat across from her. He understood that this first lesson was probably going to focus on feeling the Force or bonding. He could guess by the way Kanan had began training him about a year ago. He remembered that his first master had dragged his feet in training him, dismissing the topic of Jedi training whenever it came up. Then, after Ezra had actually reached through the Force and managed to actually push something (That something being Agent Kallus), Kanan decided that it was time to finally teach him something. Lessons began with meditation and practice levitating small objects with the Force. Considering that this was his first lesson with Ahsoka, it would probably start out the same way.

"Force training?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. "I know how to use the Force," he muttered, staring at the ground. _Be nicer._ He reminded himself sternly. _This isn't ideal, but she's a Jedi… Can't forget that I'm doing this for Kanan._ He kept his mouth shut after that.

"I know this feels really basic," Ahsoka admitted. "But I want to get a sense of where you are right now. After that, we can get onto everything that's more on your level." Ezra nodded and closed his eyes to connect with the Force.

He could feel it. The Force curled around him, surrounding him, in the same way it had when he meditated with Kanan. It was comforting, almost as though his dead master was still there next to him.

Kanan had once said that when a Jedi died, they begin one with the Force. Is that where he was now? In the Force there with him? If he focused, he could feel him, that's what he thought at least. Would it be so bad if he was wrong? He _wanted_ to believe Kanan was there. Ezra took a deep breath in. _I miss you, Kanan._ He said into the broken bond. There was no response, but somehow, he could feel a warm feeling in his chest as though it was a response.

Ahsoka opened an eye to glance at Ezra. She didn't have a bond with him, but she could easily sense his emotions. She knew he was trying to call out to Kanan. She didn't say anything. It wasn't as though she hadn't done the same thing when the Empire killed off all the Jedi. Even now, years later, she still found herself screaming out into Force, hoping at least one person would respond. No one ever did. _He'll get through it._ She thought, closing her eyes and returning to meditation.

That day was relatively calm. They sparred a bit, Ahsoka starting out slowly and then increasing her speed, strikes, and attacks periodically to gauge Ezra's skill in lightsaber combat.

 _He's not bad._ She thought as she effortlessly blocked a blow from him. He pushed her backwards with the Force, and she immediately responded by doing a backflip, landing on her feet, and coming at him with another attack without an issue. _Definitely has potential._ She thought as Ezra pushed back against her, their lightsabers locked. They remained there, sabers braced against each other for a few more seconds before she swept his feet out from under him with her leg. He yelped in surprise and went crashing down to the crystalline ground. Ezra groaned when he opened his eyes.

"You did very well," she said as she deactivated her lightsaber and extended a hand to help him up. He seemed to take a minute in deciding whether or not to take her hand, but in the end, he reached out and let her help him to his feet.

"But you beat me," he muttered.

Ahsoka smiled slightly. "Doesn't mean your technique wasn't impressive for someone your age." Ezra didn't say anything in response, he didn't smile, or get a proud look on his face, but Ahsoka could sense some glow of pride from him. She would have to teach him how to cloak his Force signature later…

Ahsoka felt a twinge of sadness inside her heart. She'd have to bond with him. She would have to semi-overwrite the bond that he'd had with Kanan. How was she supposed to tell him that? She wasn't sure, chances were he wouldn't want to. He'd be against leaving the past behind, at least at the moment.

"Ezra," she began as they made their way back to their temporary home. "We're going to have to form a bond. You know that, right?"

Ezra sighed. "Yeah, I know, and I'll do it… It's just… " His voice trailed off and he said nothing for a few minutes, silent except for the sound of his shoes making contact with the ground. "I…" He attempted to put his sentiments into words. "It's just…" Ahsoka could sense the flood of pain and despair and grief in his Force signature.

"I know," she said after a few minutes of Ezra struggling and stumbling over his words. "You feel like bonding now would be a betrayal of your bond with Kanan."

His shoulder relaxed and his head fell forward a little. "Yeah," he muttered. "Yeah, that's it." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I..." His voice quieted prematurely again.

"It's understandable," Ahsoka said. "And I don't want to rush forming a bond, but training you will be ineffective if we don't connect."

"Right," he murmured. Ezra looked up at her. "But aren't bonds formed slowly, like over time? If we did this everyday, we'd eventually form a bond, right?"

"That's a theory," Ahsoka responded. "Usually, bonds form like that. Sometimes, they form very quickly." She paused. "I'd think we should have began to form one today, but we didn't."

Ezra already knew, he could sense it as much as she could. "Why didn't we then?" He asked.

Ahsoka sighed. "You're fighting it," she murmured. "I think you somewhat know that already."

Ezra scoffed. "Why would I ever fight forming a bond in a situation like this?" _He_ even knew that he was playing dumb at this point. Ahsoka didn't say anything for a minute, and Ezra didn't like the silence. He disliked it even more than what Ahsoka would have said.

She didn't fall for it. "You already know why, Young One," she said. "You still don't trust me."

Ezra swallowed hard, still trying to deny it. "W-why would I get on a ship with someone I didn't trust?" He ignored the fact that he didn't trust anyone on the _Ghost_ until after they'd come back for him when he got captured by Agent Kallas.

"Maybe because Hera told you to or because you want to be a Jedi for Kanan's sake." The tone of her voice wasn't in anyway mean or harsh. She was simply being truthful. Ezra still felt as though he'd been slapped though. The shock of actually _hearing_ the truth of the matter was hard to take.

Ezra had a choice in that moment, he could either swallow the small amount of pride that he'd been holding onto and admit that Ahsoka was right or her could keep denying it. He took a deep breath. If he kept fighting her in this, it wouldn't work. She wouldn't be able to train him. He wouldn't become a Jedi. "Fine," he said, finally surrendering. "I admit it. I only went with you because Hera told me it had to happen." He **swallowed** the tears that rose in his throat. "I don't want to be here…I'm- I'm afraid..."

There it was. That complete and utter emotional vulnerability. He'd completely opened himself, letting her see him when he was broke, letting her feel all his pain. Everything he felt was written on his face. He was scared. He was lost. He was lonely. He was grief stricken. He was terrified of opening up to another person, of forming a bond with another Jedi because he didn't want to go through the pain of that bond breaking as it had with Kanan.

Their bond was forming now, they could both feel it. It formed, the strings of their Force signatures winding themselves into a knot. Ahsoka felt the ache in her heart that Ezra had been enduring. Ezra could clearly feel her fear in becoming his master and her pain in losing all the Jedi. They both felt terrible when it happened with their Force signatures in storms of pain and loss, but in the end it was worth it. They were truly master and Padawan.

 **Yeah... So, that's all I've got for right now. I always have plans for chapters in the distant future, but the next chapter is always a struggle.**

 **You know, I was looking back on the chapters I wrote for this way back when, and I take a moment to realize how much has changed. When I started this fanfic, I was a girl in high school with a huge** ** _Star Wars_** **obsession, no boyfriend, a love for betta fish, interest in anime, and fascination with human anatomy.**

 **And here I am now. A girl in college with a huge** ** _Star Wars_** **obsession, no boyfriend, a love for betta fish, interest in anime, and fascination with human anatomy. I feel like I've grown up so much... (This chapter is like 15% dedicated to my betta fish, Atsushi (Whom I adopted yesterday) ( I might give him a longer name later)**

 **Anyway, please review! Thanks for reading this far. You guys are the best! May the Force be with you!**


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